Great news on your surgery! I found that just taking it slow when it came to eating post-surgery was important. Even though I was starving, I always did better when I stuck to things like soup, yogurt, jello, etc for the first week or so, then gradually add in other foods. Back to normal after maybe a month, and able to eat pretty much whatever I wanted. Hope things improve quickly for you as well!

Posted on April 3, 2012 at 11:42:01 AM by Ann

I ate soft foods for about 2 weeks, then I was bringing on the cheeseburgers!

Posted on April 3, 2012 at 7:05:45 PM by Charity

You are so normal. I was so scared too. I wanted the cancer out of me asap! You will be fine, you are young. Keep us posted and good luck with the surgery.

Posted on March 19, 2012 at 9:24:16 AM by Laurie

Oh Dear Beth, I’m so sorry you’re so scared. Damned cancer! I hate it and what it does to us!

Do know that your fear is absolutely, completely, utterly normal. It would be odd if you weren’t afraid!

For me, it was the fear of the unknown that wreaked the most havoc in my mind. (I had never had surgery before cancer.) It actually felt like a tornado of fear was swirling in my mind, but when I could sit quietly and write out a list of what I was scared of, it came down to:
1) the fear of the unknown
2) the loss of control
3) the anger and resentment I felt for having to endure this in the first place.

I had mislabeled my anger as fear. I remember what a helpful realization that was. Once I could see the (understandable) anger for what it was, I could separate it from the fear. That helped.

I am a firm believer in keeping journals. They have helped tremendously when my fear had taken over, when I was literally dizzy and confused and felt like I was in someone else’s mind with fear and worry.

Just making a list of my fears was beneficial. That way, they were there in front of me. They stopped swirling around in my head. I could look at them. I could analyze them one at a time. I could determine if there were anything I could do to alleviate them, one at a time.

Writing them down, for me, stripped them of most of their power. And writing them down forced my mind to slow down.

I would be leaving out a huge chunk of what helped me if I didn’t mention prayer and God’s comfort. The last thing I want to do is sound “preachy,” but I found tremendous comfort in knowing I could pray for God to comfort me. I always asked people pray that God would keep me relaxed. I really believe He did, most of the time. This is my prayer for you, too – that God will keep you relaxed, and that they get it all, and that you will live a long, happy, love-filled life.

I’m so sorry you’re in the midst of the scariest time right now, Beth. It really does get better. Once surgery is behind you, you’ll get a treatment plan in place. You’ll have more doctor appointments than you thought possible. You’ll have plenty of things you’ll be doing to actively fight this beast. You’ll be participating in your treatment. You’ll be busy. You’ll know what’s coming the second time you go for treatment, be it chemo and/or radiation. The fear of the unknown will decrease. And you will be able to look back at all you’ve already been through, and you will find strength in that. You will see strength in yourself that you didn’t know you had. And this will help you the meet the next challenge. And that challenge will help you meet the one after that. You’ll see…

Please keep posting. Please keep coming here for support. We’ve been where you are. We get it. And we care.

Love and hugs and prayers,

Danean

Posted on March 19, 2012 at 10:50:40 AM by Danean

 Danean, Thank you . You are right I too am mislabeling my anger as fear.I am just so mad my life has been interupted by this darn disease. I hate to sound whiney because I am soo very thankful my cancer is localized.I know there are people who have a much bigger fight ahead of them than me. And I feel guilty for even complaining.Your list is dead on with my feelings I am so thankful I have found this site and can come here to you guys to vent my fears and concerns and know that you all get what I’m feeling.
Hugs and Much Love,
Beth

Posted on March 23, 2012 at 4:01:52 AM by Beth

 I’m sitting here in pain from the radiation, like I do every morning before the pain meds kick in. I’m angry, too, and I feel ridiculous complaining about it when there are people here fighting to live. I get that, too. But I also know that those who have worse circumstances than we do

Posted on March 23, 2012 at 8:01:11 AM by Danean

 I’m sitting here in pain from the radiation, like I do every morning before the pain meds kick in. I’m angry, too, and I feel ridiculous complaining about it when there are people here fighting to live. I get that, too. But I also believe that those who are dealing with more drastic circumstances than we are would not want us to stifle our posts because of them.

I’m so glad you posted, and I’m so thankful that my reply to you was helpful. The whole thing just sucks. Sometimes the only thing we have control over is how we choose to view things. I’m working on that a lot this week. And I am praying for you and all of us here.

I hope you will try to get out and have some fun this weekend to take your mind off of Tuesday.

Love and hugs,

Danean

Posted on March 23, 2012 at 8:08:31 AM by Danean

 I’m so sorry you are in pain, I’m praying for you and sending you pain free and healing thoughts. Beth

Posted on March 23, 2012 at 11:42:42 AM by Beth

 Thanks so much for your prayers, Beth. I really appreciate it.

Please post as soon as you’re able after your surgery. I want to hear firsthand how well it went!

Danean

Posted on March 23, 2012 at 2:41:59 PM by Danean

I totally understand that. I get very angry whenever my anxieties are triggered and how crippling they can be. Xanax helped me get through the worse parts. I had panic attacks too..I now know what they are all about..and I hate them. I try not to go there, but, my brain just jets to a place I don’t want to go..hijacked! I would see if you could get something to help..you will be worried to death for a week. Try distraction..something…a puzzle..walking..running..a movie..I would definately look into a mild sedative just to get your through the waiting. It is like being on the diving board getting ready to dive into a pool of water..you will be fine. They have great medications to take care of the pain …they may want to add a mild sedative..if your doctor knows you have these fears, they can make sure afterwards that you are taken care of well..I will keep you in my prayers. Hang in there..you are about to begin a new journey. Sending you hugs and prayers for peace.

Posted on March 19, 2012 at 12:00:09 PM by Eileen

Take a deep breath! The surgery is really not that bad. I had a complete hysterectomy and my whole rectum removed. I used the pain meds for a couple of days then was completely off of all pain meds. You are young and your body is amazing at bouncing back. Good luck on your surgery!

Posted on March 19, 2012 at 12:43:33 PM by Private User

Hi Beth:

I understand your fear and know you will get through this. Try to focus on the questions you will need to ask and bring supportive people with you. Distract yourself with a good book, a funny movie, or your favorite hobby.
Have you tried meditation? I am doing meditation more and more and find it really does tend to relax me.
It is so normal to be afraid but I have not doubt the warrior in you is about to come out and will take on this disease and banish it from your body.

I believe in you Beth!

Posted on March 19, 2012 at 2:57:43 PM by Cathy

Beth, I have an ostomy due to cervical cancer. Within a week after diagnosis. I feel your emotions. BUT hey i am here :) and you will too..HUGS sweetie..ask doc for some relaxers till then..they helped me..Sunshine

Posted on March 19, 2012 at 4:09:39 PM by Peg Sunshine

Keep me posted ok..will be thinking about you! Sunshine

Posted on March 19, 2012 at 4:10:41 PM by Peg Sunshine

It’s natural to feel fearful when you face something that is both scary and unknown, but you can do it! I’ve had five surgeries, four of them major colon resections and one hysterectomy. Not fun by any means, but it’s doable and most importantly, the best path to a cure. Good luck, and keep us posted on how it goes. Sending strength your way-Ann
PS If you have a laptop or Ipad, definitely take it with you-hospital TV gets old quick!

Posted on March 19, 2012 at 4:37:06 PM by Ann

I am so sorry. I did not feel this way! I just wanted the cancer out of my body, and I couldn’t wait for the surgery to happen. Surgery is scary, but it is what will save your life.

Posted on March 19, 2012 at 9:18:54 PM by Charity

I am with Charity here. I didn’t have enough time to think about surgery like you. I only had time to reflect on the words of cancer post op. So please, Beth, rest as easy as your mind will let you. Close your eyes and breath deep. Meditate, pray. All will be well.

Posted on March 26, 2012 at 10:50:28 AM by Melissa